The Self, Part 9: Whatever you do, don’t be yourself!


Don’t be yourself, whatever you do. 

This is Part 9 in a series of articles about the “Self.”

Some years ago, I saw a funny New Yorker cartoon. A middle aged-couple is standing in front of the door to a house. They have arrived at a friend’s house for dinner. He is about to knock and the wife says to her husband,

“Whatever you do, please don’t be yourself tonight.”


Well, she knows him, I guess, as married people do.

Maybe he knows himself too but it isn’t likely.


When we  know ourselves better, we find out things we don’t always like. 

That’s OK, none of us is perfect. (And the couple in the cartoon is still married!) 

Mostly, however, we learn things that we do like. We also discover things that we suspected about ourselves but never verified.

That’s why so many people take up new things in mid-life (art, music, or leaving a corporate job to start a small business).

We wonder how it is that we didn’t know those things about ourselves when we were younger. After all, we all know many things about ourselves.

You know, for example, what kind of food you prefer, what kind of books, movies, plays or games you like. You’ve known for decades if you are a morning person or a night owl. That stuff is easy. You learned that by repetition, habit, and observation.

But there’s lots we don’t know.

How could we have missed truly important things about ourselves that perhaps our spouse or mate knows, or our family or friends know, but we do not? 

We didn’t pay enough attention to them when we were younger, perhaps. Or, we kind of remember that we were interested in certain things but we dismissed them as not important. Or, we didn’t even know about them so that we could pay attention to them.

Maybe nobody recognized some of our talents and gifts when we were children so they were never developed. Life is complicated. You probably have talents never recognized  let alone nurtured.


If you are feeling dissatisfied with important areas of your life such as work, or personal or family relationships or even your most significant partner relationship,  then it’s time to figure out what the hell is going wrong. Part of the reason you are in the wrong place or the wrong job or with the wrong person is because you don’t know the real You yet. Not well enough anyway.

It’s time to find out. I’m designing a course to help you do it.

In the meantime, I’m publishing a this series  It will be based on my book  

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? The way to know yourself and get what you want.

You will be able to get that book here soon.

You can come at your Self many ways. How you use time and why you procrastinate are intimately connected with your Self. 

I used to think procrastination was a function of time faulty time management. Not exactly. 

It’s true that time management is connected to procrastination but on a deeper level it is about the self. If you know yourself well you can easily reduce procrastination and all its horrible consequences.

Time, procrastination, the Self, goals, values…these things are all cemented together. They are like layers of paint; it’s difficult to separate them but it can be be done.

We’ll give it our best shot. Let me know if either time or procrastination is a problem for you.

For more information about yourself, sign up for my free page eBook, 


You get it FREE here for subscribing and it will be available soon on Amazon for a small fee.  


You can also get a free consultation with me now on any problem that might be driving you nuts.

If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.

For a 20 minute–FREE— introduction, please email me: frankdaley@ or call me: 905-584-0617

I’ll be with you.



The Self Part 10: Self Sinks Soon! Save Yourself!


The Self Part 1: Do You Find Yourself or Create it?

The Self Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind?

The Self Part 3: Be Yourself, Everybody else is taken.

The Self Part 4: Self-discovery without Viagra.

The Self Part 5: Selfish vs Selfless (in women)

The Self Part 6: SELFISHNESS. Always wrong? Or can it be a form of self-preservation?

The Self Part 7: Are you “selfish” in the family? Or preserving your sanity.

The Self Part 8: Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is

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